Signs that Therapy Language is Being Manipulated

Spotting The Misuse of Therapy Speak

Those who are frequently online might have come across the posts surf instructor and law student Sarah Brady made about her ex-boyfriend, Jonah Hill. The 25-year-old shared screenshots on her Instagram stories, where she discussed what she termed as Hill’s “emotionally abusive” behavior.

The chats involved Hill insisting that Brady cease activities such as modeling, surfing with men, posting photos of herself in a swimsuit, and spending time with “women who are in unstable situations and from her wild recent past.“

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Hill, who is 39 years old, apparently claimed these were his “boundaries”, but Brady disagreed. According to her, Hill was misusing the term 'boundaries'.

The renowned counselor Jeff Guenther, who is popularly known on TikTok as Therapy Jeff, concurs with Brady’s stance.

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Therapy Speak: What It Is And The Misuse

The “misuse of therapy language is kind of a thing these days,” Guenther began.

Rebecca Fishbein, who authored an article titled Is Therapy Speak Making Us Selfish? enlightened NPR on this “clinical” form of speech.

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In her own words, “Therapy-speak is prescriptive language describing certain psychological concepts and behaviors. It’s generally formal. It might be language you pick up from a mental health professional. It might be language you pick up from social media or just talking to your friends,” she says.

Distinction Between Boundaries and Demands

In a video he posted, Guenther underlined the difference between healthy boundaries and controlling demands.

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“A boundary is a healthy limit a person sets for themselves to protect their well-being and integrity. It is a rule or guideline that one creates to identify reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for others to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone crosses those limits,” he says.

Contrarily, “in the message Jonah (allegedly) sent to Sarah, he is not setting boundaries that protect his emotional well-being. Instead, he is dictating what behaviors and friendships Sarah is allowed to have... This isn't an example of healthy boundary setting. Instead, it's an attempt to control,” explains Guenther.

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In Case of Suspected Misuse

If you suspect a friend, partner or family member of using therapy speak to evade responsibility or even unfairly dictate your behavior, don't be afraid to address the issue.

If you need help or support, contact the following resources:

• Mind, available Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org

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