Discover How the Swivel Method Can Transform Your Family Holidays

2023-11-22 10:21:25

Unlock Successful Socializing: The 'Swivel Method'

Holiday gatherings often come with their fair share of challenging conversations, from awkward encounters at Friendsgivings to potentially uncomfortable discussions during family festivities. Mastering the art of dialogue is crucial for these events, where mingling effectively is key.

The art of conversation isn't something that comes naturally to everyone; it's a skill that benefits from practice and preparation. Entering a party armed with a variety of conversation starters can make all the difference. Questions like, "How do you know the host?" or "Stream any good TV shows lately?" or even playful debates such as Is a hot dog a sandwich? can help break the ice.

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But what happens when the tables turn and you find yourself on the receiving end of a question you'd rather not answer? Whether it's probing personal queries or controversial topics, the last thing anyone wants is an uncomfortable debate amidst the holiday cheer.

The Swivel Technique

In situations where you'd prefer to dodge certain conversation missiles, the 'swivel' method can be your saving grace. Rebecca Nellis, an expert in communication strategies, outlines the method: "The formula for the swivel is elastic. You acknowledge what the person is saying and then deftly transition to a new topic".

Here's how it works: imagine your curious uncle enquires about your job search, a topic you're not keen on discussing. You might respond with, "It's coming along. But right now, I’m more focused on finding those delicious crab puffs I spotted earlier. Have you tried one?" This skillful pivot away from the touchy subject lets you redirect the conversation to safer shores.

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Even in confrontations over divisive subjects like conspiracy theories, the 'swivel' can guide the conversation back to neutral ground. For instance, shifting focus to something everyone can agree on, like how fabulous Aunt Maria looks at the ripe age of 85, can steer the discussion away from potential conflict.

Nick Leighton, an etiquette aficionado and podcast host, suggests honing this technique at work parties, advising a quick shift towards pleasanter subjects, like holiday plans, when faced with uncomfortable questions about work matters like bonuses.

Note that the intent behind invasive questions isn't necessarily malevolent; it often stems from genuine curiosity or different social expectations. Leighton advises starting with the assumption that these questions come from a place of interest rather than intrusion.

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Could You Be the Culprit?

Yet there's another twist—what if you're inadvertently the person putting others in a position where they need to 'swivel' away from you? To combat this, it's valuable to approach conversations with topics that are more likely to encourage a free-flowing, comfortable exchange.

For instance, ask about updates on their college search, work developments, life events, or even something light-hearted like a request for a cake recipe. This way of initiating dialogue is less likely to result in conversational dead ends.

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Being adept at small talk isn't a trait we all possess, particularly as modern lifestyle factors like increased isolation and reliance on digital communication impact our social skills. Yet despite its casual nature, small talk forms the bedrock of new relationships.

While we often control the direction of a presentation or negotiation, small talk's spontaneous nature can leave us feeling less in command. That's where strong conversation skills come into play, ensuring even impromptu interactions can flourish.

In essence, when chatting, our focus should be on making the other person comfortable rather than seeking common ground. According to Fine, learning about others should be our goal, with discovering common interests serving as an added bonus.

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"Commonality is the bonus for peeling the layers to learn about others," says Fine, reminding us of the intrinsic value of genuinely wanting to understand and connect with our conversational counterparts.

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