Strategies for Handling Unappreciative Children

2023-11-25 08:00:10

Tips for Nurturing Gratitude in Children

Imagine the scene: your child unwraps a gift from a loved one only to discover it's a duplicate of something they already own. Their face clouds with visible disappointment.

"What do you say to Grandma?" you prompt, teeth clenched, as your child forces out a tepid "thank you" and hurries onto the next present.

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It's never pleasant when a child comes across as ungrateful, yet it happens. So, how can parents effectively address this issue?

According to Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist from Good Inside, "'Ungrateful' is not a constructive term. By labeling a child as such, we're really highlighting their struggle to find gratitude amidst disappointment."

An Instagram post by Dr. Kennedy, which garnered over 18,000 likes, illustrates this with a child who hoped for toy blocks and received a book instead. It's natural for the child to feel let down, which is completely acceptable.

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Adults differ in their ability to manage such disappointment and still muster gratitude. The capacity to manage these complex feelings creates room for gratefulness, as the therapist sheds light on.

Dr. Kennedy asserts, "We don’t experience 'un' emotions. Thus, rather than 'ungrateful,' the precise insight would be 'my kid has yet to learn to handle disappointment' - and that's a teachable skill."

Instilling gratitude is an ongoing process. Creating a mindful environment is crucial to begin this journey, advises the psychologist and mother of three.

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Slowing down and engaging in inquisitive conversations with children ("what does 'enough' signify?") is more beneficial than commanding them to "say thank you," as guided by the psychologist.

Encouraging Gratitude Beyond the 'Thank You'

Parenting expert Amanda Jenner cautions against setting unrealistic expectations with extensive wish lists for events like Christmas and discourages using bribery for children to obtain their desired gifts.

Instead, she emphasizes memorable family experiences and the joy of holiday preparations. Rotating the focus from presents to the special feelings and experiences highlights the season's true essence.

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Involve children in crafting handmade gifts. Jenner points out that a present imbued with love and effort is valuable and generates a heartwarming sensation.

Children glow with pride when they create something themselves. The same principle applies to holidays - homemade and heartfelt outweighs expensive and store-bought, Jenner advises.

Moreover, encourage the spirit of generosity. Decluttering and donating toys inspires a sense of community contribution. It's an educational moment that emphasizes kindness and the joy of giving, irrespective of the gift's size or glamour.

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Let's all strive for a holiday season filled with joy and gratitude. ✨

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